Upper School Shenadigans
by Undomiel Canis Lupis
Summary: Its always the stupis little things that you do everyday tend to be the ones you remember . Follow the Marauders on days that ANYONE can symphasize with
1. How fast can you do it?

Authors Notes  
  
I was sat in college, remembering my days at High school and I quite literally started laughing right there and then. Me and Friends (Nicknamed both "The Scooby Gang" and "The Marauderetees") got up to so much RANDOM shit that it would've made the Marauders proud. So I decided to right a fic based on my life but instead using the one and only Marauders, as follows:  
  
Sirius Black-Me  
  
Remus Lupin-Emma  
  
James Potter-Leila  
  
Peter Pettigrew-Georgina  
  
Lily Evans-Steve Fry  
  
Enjoy yourselves!!! These are all based on true stories, the order of things changed to improve the story and the outcome of the love interest is changed slightly, to please my friend lol.  
  
Professor McGonagoll must have been talking for about a total of 15 minutes because Sirius's attention had moved to the fascinating stain on the table shaped like a face. Remus Lupin, trouble maker but a good student, turned his attention from the important facts that Sirius will probably copy off of him later and watched in a slightly confused but mildly amused manner as his best friend began to find several peculiar things so brilliantly fascinating.  
  
But what really threw him was when Sirius simply pointed at his own face, staring advently at his own finger.  
  
He wiggled it slowly, Remus now leaning on his elbow watching this odd behaviour whilst Sirius remained oblivious to his audience.  
  
And suddenly, with great speed and before Remus could ask what he was doing, Sirius well and truly poked himself in the eye. He then began clutching at it, opening his mouth in pain but no sound coming out due to the fact that McGonagoll was still talking and he didn't' want to get yelled at.  
  
Remus, also not making a sound, began mutely crying with hysterics, fighting the urge to just roar with laughter. If you wanted random Sirius was your guy.  
  
McGonagoll had finished talking setting them work to get on with and everyone started quietly amongst themselves, and it was here that Remus let himself give out a hearty laugh.  
  
"What the hell was that about?" He managed to joke out amongst great gulps of laughter. Sirius turned to face him, his sore eye watering slightly. A sheepish look graced his features.  
  
"I wanted to see how fast I could poke the bridge of my nose."  
  
"....."  
  
Someone outside the transfigurations room must've thought an explosion might've had occurred. Remus Lupin let out a full belly laugh. He threw his head back and it must've been several minutes before he finished and even Sirius was laughing at how ridiculous he sounded.  
  
"Its difficult man, your finger just slides off and you get red eye, look!"  
  
They strode out of Transfigurations to meet up with Prongs and Wormtail who didn't take advanced Trans and instead were walking out of Divination. Sirius was singing something slightly under his breathe but was air guitaring and nodding his head as if he was blaring it out full volume causing a few 2nd years to look round and watch the 7th year.  
  
"You will not believe what this clutz has done now." Exclaimed Remus grinning at the memory.  
  
James looked at Sirius as though he wouldn't be surprised if Sirius started singing "Hot chocolate Full Monty" at the top of his lungs and started dancing on the table during class.  
  
"What this time?"  
  
"I poked myself in the eye" Black exclaimed shamelessly before scrounging a drink out of James's bag causing James to merely glance at him in a "What exactly do you think your doing" sort of way.  
  
".why?"  
  
"Wanted to see something."  
  
"So seeing your finger pad up close was your choice?" Lupin raised an eyebrow at his friend. Really, it was great that he had friends especially considering his condition but he couldn't have picked a weirder choice.  
  
"Ugh, ANYWAYS, what are we doing today? We have a choice of stalking that chick that Lupin is crushing over simply 'cause she smells like Lynx, which I STILL think is a little odd, torturing Snape ooooooor we could get some food of which I think is a marvellous idea.who's that?"  
  
Lily Evans had waltzed in, and it looked like over the summer holidays she'd matured into a woman. James crush on her had increased ten fold and even Lupin threw her an admiring glance.  
  
"Lily Evans , Popular, charming to everyone and has a thing for Stanley White!"  
  
Both Sirius and James turned their attention to Peter who stood a little ways away.  
  
".We could've told you that" Added Lupin before glancing back at the red head.  
  
"ANYWAYS! What are we doing, and don't say we're going to stand here and stare at Jeremy's wet dream (This earned Sirius a punch in the arm from James). How about we go to Hogsmede, I'm bored and I want chocolate."  
  
"Hogsmede it is then, Grab your cloak Jim lad, we're off!"  
  
This is it so far, next chappies in Hogsmede, and translated in to the Muggle British that's "Bath".  
  
It was funny there. Sorry if it seems very disjointed but im having trouble stringing all my incidents up into a story.  
  
And the eye thing, it REALLY hurt man, it was humiliating!!!!!! 


	2. Hogsmede Trips and the chalk woman

Chapter two  
  
Sorry for the hold up, my cat I've had since I was 4 years old passed away and it was as painful as losing my best friend, goddess protect Figaro, so you can understand the lack of hyper humour. But I think this will help. So on with chapter two, The Hogsmede trip.  
  
Traipsing through the tunnel that lead to the Honeydukes basement consisted on Sirius yelping every now and again as Peter stepped on his foot, Remus maintaining a cool exterior and James purposely stepping on Sirius's foot then blaming it on Peter.  
  
Finally reaching their destination they entered the warm afternoon air of Hogsmedes streets.  
  
"Ah finally. Peter.you're a dolt with big feet and I bet no-ones told you that before so here it is again.you're a dolt with big feet."  
  
Peter spluttered to defend his innocence but was interrupted by Remus exclaiming, "Who's that?"  
  
The four buys turned to look at a woman who had completely covered herself in chalk and had dressed in old Roman style clothing. One of those living statue entertainers. She was standing stock still but everytime a passer by chucked some change into a little tub by her feet she moved, whether it was too wave or blow a kiss, bringing great amusement to the audience. No one, Sirius however noticed, would hug her when she opened her arms and she would pretend to pout and batter her eyes sadly.  
  
"Hey hey James give her some change, make her do something!" Sirius said whilst bouncing on the balls of his feet.  
  
So James pulled out his change and chucked it in, causing the woman to smile and hold out her arms again. But James merely blushed and walked back to his friends quickly, and again the woman pouted and pretended to sniffle.  
  
"AWWW," Sirius exclaimed loudly, "you upset her man, give me some change you amateur!"  
  
So Sirius with his head held high walked over and repeated James's actions, and again the woman opened her arms. However, instead of walking away Sirius embraced her, not too tightly due to the chalk, and when they let go she smiled brightly and battered her eyes obviously and blew him a kiss, which of course Sirius returned with a wink.  
  
The 3 other boys were laughing loudly and started walking away, but not before Sirius turned around and noticing that a lot more people were confidante to walk up to her, he blew her a kiss and called a quick "See Ya" over his shoulder.  
  
The day went by pleasantly with James trying to understand the ethnics of how one can poke yourself in the day and doing exactly that when he tried it himself on Sirius's dare.  
  
Peter had seemed to have developed a saying where he would check out girls going either "Woo baby" or "She is G..R..I..M..GRIM!!" in an exaggerated voice.  
  
Sirius was again the centre of attention when Remus dared him to shout out "Nice arse" to some passing girls, and was shocked to laughter when Sirius did, altogether forgetting Sirius's lack of integrity.  
  
They led themselves back into Hogwarts but as they turned a corner bumped into known other than Albus Dumbledore. James adopted a look of the "Verbal deer-in-headlights", Remus sucked in a breath and Peter squeaked in shock. Sirius smiled and waved enthusiastically.of which Albus returned before carrying on his way with a sparkle in his eye.  
  
Sorry if you didn't find that chapter funny but remember I'm basing these on really life moments to my "Scooby gang" and It was funny as fuck at the time. I say the statue dude again and by jove I hugged that man a second time!!! 


	3. Ann Summers and social behaviour

AN- Sooo sorry, I've been currently co-writing a story with Cardinal, "A change of heart", check it out if you want but its slash so if that's not you don't bother (*Grins*) Anyways onwards we go  
  
Now Remus Lupin had grown up in a muggle environment so to him social behaviour in a cinema was second nature, Even Peter who was raised as a pure wizard had a vague idea. Remus only thought it might be fun during the Easter holidays  
  
No, the problem led with none other than Sirius Black and James Potter. Sirius was currently laughing over the fact that when James's parents had come to pick Remus up in their large family van, Remus hadn't noticied the fact that Sirius had been forced to sit in the back. And I mean the 'back' back, where the boot should be. Now whilst this seemed a reasonable idea at the time what no one realised was that if Sirius led down you couldn't see him..............  
  
.........Do you see where I'm going?  
  
And so when Remus stepped into the car, settled himself in and greeted Mrs Potter he didn't see the person behind him sit up until he exclaimed a loud "HI REMUS!!!!"  
  
It is shameful when an adolescent werewolf screams like a little girl and clutches at his heart. But back to the cinema where a miffed Remus kept muttering "Oh shut up mongrel," of which Sirius paid no heed and proceeded to make little girlie sounds which James found most funny.  
  
They bought their tickets (Screen 1, the best for surround sound) and upon walking into the theatre they discovered that they had the biggest screen all.to.them.selves.  
  
It just screams trouble doesn't it.  
  
And so it went that Peter ran to the front and proceeded to do Britney Spears impersonations, Sirius had seemed to adopt the parental image ("JAMES PUT THAT DOWN!!!", " What? Put what down." "That big white thing" "That would be the screen padfoot" "YES thank you Remus. PUT THE SCREEN BACK HOW YOU FOUND IT!!!") And Remus sat vaguely amused.  
  
The film came on and they found that one other person had joined then, the poor fool.  
  
James and Sirius spent most of the film messing round, Sirius making hissing parsel tongue noises and James squeaking at the sound before pummelling his friends arm. Then came the discussion of who was fit and who wasn't, and of course, Padfoot and Prongs applauding the speech that the Prime Minister made in "Love actually," ("Padfoot, who's Harry Potter?")  
  
Mrs Potter than came to pick them up, frowning at the weeping staff and wondering what kind of mess the screen was currently in.  
  
Sirius was this time sat up front with Mrs Potter and the two were chattering happily about Haircuts, thongs ("Don't they look painful?") and Ann Summers partys.  
  
James had his head in his hands as Remus openly laughed and Peter giggled.  
  
Tea and crumpets were giving to all and James parents had bought one of those 'muggle boxes, you know, the ones with moving pictures'.  
  
Sirius was sprawled in front of the telly, munching on biscuits and was loudly exclaiming 'fake' or 'real' every time a beauty advert came on.  
  
Whilst the four boys did amateur dances along to Christina's "dirty" Mrs Potter answered the shrill ringing of the telephone.  
  
"Yes, Potter residence."  
  
"Hello, Mrs potter."  
  
"That's me, can I help?"  
  
"I hope so. See I'm phoning from Warner brothers studios and whilst we like to offer the best service, we would kindly one of our chairs back please."  
  
An- there you are, next chappie done woo woo. You know that converstaion of thongs and Ann summers actually happened, I loved it, Leila looked so uncomfortable. LEILA YOUR MUM RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 


End file.
